Since Lamb I've been thinking about my old life (I won't go into detail) and how much freer I was. I've recently been dragged into this trap of the education system; get ''good'' education>>get ''good'' job>>have a ''good'' life. But most peoples lives are boring. So boring in makes me sick to think I might live like that for my whole life. And I don't want to do anything I've been studying for a career. I've always wanted to be a musishion, since I was 9 amd going to Lamb reminded me of that. It also reminded me just [most of] the friends I've got now are really boring. I don't have the same kind of relationship as I did with my old friends. I don't know if that's because of what happened to me or because of the people they are. They're really nice, but I just don't connect.
At the moment I'm in a really weird place. I'm considering whether to continue with collehe next year or not because I'm not USING any of the shitty qualifications I'm working so hard for, but yet I know I should get them.
I just hate how everyone is brain-washed into thinking that having a job is the key to everything. It's not. Maybe it'd make some people happy, but not me. I don't want to be a designer. I want to play music and travel. It's what I've wanted for a long time and I can't believe I lost slight of it!!